5 Things To Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough
Sometimes in the midst of all the pressure, I seem to totally forget all the wonderful, unique things about myself. I get stuck in my head and allow my inner critic to completely tear apart my self-esteem until I hate myself too much to do anything except stuffing my face with chocolate and staying in bed all day. While my self-love journey is on-going, here are a few things I try to remember when I’m tempted to be mean to myself:
Everyone compares themselves to other people
If there is one thing all us girls need to stop doing it is comparing ourselves with others. It is probably one of the most hurtful and cruel things we do to ourselves.Everyone does it, even the most confident and successful people you know will compare themselves to the people around them. Instead of comparing yourself to others through a lens of jealousy and judgment, try to look at people for who they actually are without comparing yourself but more as an inspiration or a motivation.
There can only be one you, warts and all. When you look at other people through a lens of compassion and understanding rather than judgment and jealousy, you are better able to see them for what they are—human beings. They are beautifully imperfect human beings going through the same universal challenges that we all go through.
Focus on your progress rather than perfection
Especially when you focus on ”getting everything right” it can lead to ‘down days’ when things are not working out as planned. We all want success and perfection and when that doesn’t happen we feel worthless, which is also a cause of self-loathing. Remember everyone's journey is different and that's what makes it a learning curve, Instead of berating yourself for messing up and stumbling backward, give yourself a pat on the back for trying, making progress, and coming as far as you have.
Find A Way To Love Yourself
The key to loving yourself is accepting yourself as you are. Of course, this does not mean not attempting to improve yourself. It does mean accepting yourself for who you are, accepting responsibility for the mistake you’ve made, and moving on. It is important not to stop from any one given mistake, but instead to keep going. “Until you stop breathing, there’s more right with you than wrong with you.”
As someone who sometimes tends to zoom in on all my perceived flaws, it helps to remember that there are lots of things I like about myself too—like the fact that I’m alive and breathing and able to pave new paths whenever I choose.
Don’t believe everything your mind tells you..
You are the one that controls your mind and thoughts are just thoughts, but at the same time, they can be very powerful. Whenever you have negative thoughts about yourself, try to sum up all the good things you have done in life, all your achievements and all the journeys you have survived. Positive thinking goes a long way! I find that it is most difficult to accept love and understanding from others when I’m in a state of anger, shame, anxiety, or depression. But adopting the above truth really shifted my perspective and made me realize that love is actually the greatest gift I can receive during such times.
You can’t hate your way into loving yourself.
Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.
I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself—regardless of who you are and where you stand and even if you know you want to change.
You are enough just as you are. And self-love will be a little bit easier every time you remind yourself of that.
